When I was sixteen, I stayed with my childhood best friend's family during a summer vacation. Her parents were the kind of couple you'd look at and think, "They've got it all." Their home was full of laughter, warmth, and a sense of belonging that made you want to stay forever. Then, the facade cracked. News of infidelity surfaced, and suddenly, what once seemed unbreakable lay in ruins. At sixteen, it felt devastating, like a cherished love story had crumbled under its weight.
But what happened next? That's what lingers with me even now. They didn't surrender. Instead, they embraced the more difficult road. Through hard work, humility, and a commitment to repair, they managed to salvage their relationship over time. It wasn't a perfect process, but it was profoundly human and deeply inspiring. That experience left an indelible mark on me. It showed me both the devastating consequences of betrayal and the incredible potential for transformation.
My journey from finance to matchmaking wasn't merely a career pivot, it was a deliberate response to a critical need. As the CEO of Tawkify, the nation's largest matchmaking company, I've come to understand a simple but often-overlooked truth: finding and maintaining love—the kind of deep, fulfilling connection that brings meaning to life—is one of humanity's greatest challenges. And yet, it's also the most vital to our well-being.
This understanding wasn't something I arrived at overnight, it was shaped by real stories and relationships that left a lasting impression on me.
Big moments like infidelity can shatter a relationship in an instant, but over time, I came to see that love can more often become undone in quieter ways—through the small, everyday moments that chip away at the connection.
I've met so many couples who, at first glance, seem happy. They laugh together, go on trips, and share stories and everyday life. But beneath the surface are cracks – small, persistent moments of disconnection.
These aren't dramatic fights—they are the subtle cues—words subtly laced with frustration or defensiveness, dismissive remarks, lashing out instead of leaning in and listening, a distracted "uh-huh" instead of real engagement. It's what I think of as the "death by a thousand paper cuts." Each missed cue for true connection, leaving each other feeling unseen or unheard in small but accumulating ways, eroding the foundation of the relationship over time.
What struck me most was that these couples aren't lacking love, they are lacking the skills to nurture it. They don't know how to communicate in a truly connected way, how to repair after conflict, or how to understand and meet each other's needs.
Love alone isn't enough—it needs nurturing, like a plant or a garden. The grass really is greener where you water it.
That realization has stayed with me: relationships don't thrive by chance. They flourish when we make a conscious effort to see and understand one another, develop the skills to nurture what truly matters, and proactively and consistently show up—even when it's difficult.
I realized that if I wanted the kind of love I dreamed of, I couldn't rely on what I'd seen growing up. I had to unlearn the dysfunctional patterns I'd observed and replace them with something better. I started by envisioning the relationship I wanted—not just the surface details but the deeper feelings of respect, trust, and shared purpose. From there, I built a roadmap to make that vision a reality.
What I've learned is that resilience is built by the little moments over time and making daily choices in the seemingly small moments that create magic—how we greet our partner when they come home, what kind of tone we use when we're frustrated, listening to them in a way that shows them what they're saying matters, validating them even when we don't fully understand.
Today, I'm living the kind of relationship that I once only imagined and that I'd dream of for everyone, built on mutual respect, open communication, shared goals, and a deep, unwavering love, connection, and commitment.
It's a partnership where both people feel truly seen, supported, and committed to growing together—a real team and true partnership.
When I joined Tawkify in 2019, I saw an opportunity to do something truly meaningful: help people find and cultivate love in a way that feels real and lasting. It wasn't just about playing matchmaker, it was about helping people understand what love really takes and how they can grow it in their own lives.
This mission is driven by my belief that love is "figureoutable". With the right guidance, anyone can build the relationship they've always dreamed of. Tawkify's approach blends the precision of predictive analytics with the human artistry of matchmaking, rooted in relationship science. But the real magic that happens is not just in the dates we arrange but in helping clients become active, intentional participants in creating the love they're looking for.
Our work underscores a simple but profound truth: lasting relationships require us to be all in. When we approach love with intention, commitment, and the right tools, we create the conditions for something extraordinary.
For me, this journey isn't just about helping others find love; it's about sharing what I've learned along the way. It's about showing that with thoughtfulness and intentionality, we can all create the love stories we dream of – and that this is one of the greatest achievements we can aspire to.
Kellie Ammerman is the CEO of Tawkify, a personalized matchmaking service.
All views expressed are the author's own.
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About the writer
Kellie Ammerman is the CEO of Tawfiky, a personalized matchmaking service.