Millennial Feeling 'Inferior' Over Younger Home Owners Sparks Debate

A millennial's candid admission about feeling "inferior" for not owning a home while younger people do has ignited discussion on Reddit, resonating with many who struggle with the increasing financial hurdles of homeownership, and Newsweek spoke to an expert about it.

Reddit user snapback77 shared their frustration in a post titled: "I feel inferior when people younger than me have houses."

The post, which has amassed 14,000 upvotes since it was shared on January 29, sheds light on the financial and emotional toll that the housing market has on those who feel left behind.

"I'm 37, so dead center millennial. I'm happy for anyone who is able to get a house who wants one, but my wife [who is 35 years old] and I have been living together and working for almost 13 years and have since been unable to crawl out of the eternal renting hole," u/snapback77 wrote in the post.

Newsweek has contacted u/snapback77 for comment via the Reddit messaging system.

Comparison Culture and Societal Pressures

Christopher Mitra, a confidence and achievement coach based in Canada, told Newsweek that such feelings stem from deep-rooted societal pressures and comparison culture.

"Call it what you will—'lifestyle envy,' 'FOMO [fear of missing out],' or 'keeping up with the Joneses'—this feeling of inadequacy based on material possessions has probably been around since one caveman smugly created fire while all the others watched and shivered," Mitra said.

He added that the frustration is compounded by the reality that homeownership is out of reach for many people today.

The viral Reddit post comes as Americans battle soaring housing costs. A rent surge during the COVID-19 pandemic era has caused an "unprecedented affordability crisis," noted a 2024 report from the Joint Center for Housing Studies of Harvard University.

Around half of renter households in the U.S. spend over 30 percent of their income on rent, while 12.1 million households are "severely cost-burdened," spending more than half of their income on housing expenses—a 1.5 million rise from pre-pandemic levels, according to the report.

U/snapback77 explained: "When I hear someone younger than me has a house I feel like I failed somehow, or that I'm stupid for not chasing a house in my early 20s or something. I don't wish badly on anyone who gets their own house or anything. This is just about my own personal inadequacies."

Shifting the Focus to Personal Success

"The bottom line is that, after hundreds of clients, I've learned that every person on this planet is on their own journey," Mitra explained. "Avoid the idea that having a house—or other expensive possessions—will automatically make you happier. There is no basis for that in real life but chasing that belief will most certainly cause you stress and anxiety."

Mitra encouraged those feeling disheartened to focus on the positive aspects of their lives instead of fixating on external benchmarks.

"Instead, focus on what is going right for you," he said, noting that u/snapback77's 13-year relationship is "something to be very proud of." He also noted that the post shows "you are genuinely happy for your friends who do have homes, and that empathy is a very special trait."

Mitra advised developing a growth mindset rather than a fixed mindset when it comes to personal achievements.

He said: "Do not think you are failing because you don't own property at 37," he emphasized. "Despite what society tries to tell us, no universal timeline says 'You must have X by Y age.' Reflect on your priorities and see if homeownership is genuinely what you want, and if so, create a plan to get there—rather than letting shame or comparison run the show."

Mitra concluded with an important reminder: "Remember, there is no single path to success or happiness."

'So Many People in the Same Boat'

The post sparked a wave of responses from other Redditors, many of whom related to the struggle to afford a home in today's economic climate.

"There are so many people in the same boat as you, so don't beat yourself up about it. You still have value as a person," wrote u/d1mawolfe.

"This is me. My younger/only sibling has outpaced me greatly," noted u/jezebellexx9.

U/DucksEatBreadToLive said, "Never measure your worth with material goods," while u/dogbert730 said, "Never measure yourself using someone else's ruler."

"The only people under 45 I know that own homes got help from parents. Either they lived with a parent rent free to save for a down payment or their parents gave them money for a home," noted u/the_firecat.

U/hurdleboy agreed, saying: "Most people I know who have homes either were able to do so bc [because] of inheritance, veteran benefits, or parents helped them. I make a decent living, but the chances of buying a home on my own are slim without making major cuts to my spending."

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