Millennial With 83-Year-Old Dad Shows Reality of Having an Older Parent

A millennial woman has melted hearts online by sharing the reality of having a parent in their eighties, and while it can be beautiful, it comes with its challenges.

When Yasmeen Messrie was born, her dad, Kariem, was 50 years old, meaning he is considered something of an older parent. Now, at the age of 33, Messrie finds herself doing a great deal to care for her 83-year-old father, compared to her friends whose parents are still in their fifties and sixties.

Messrie, of Toronto, Canada, told Newsweek that growing up with older parents sometimes felt sad and unfair when she was younger. It became obvious when she realized that she attended more hospital appointments than anyone else her age. At times, she found herself wondering how many years she would have left with them both, dreading the thought of being without her parents at a young age.

"I was constantly worried about my parents' health and whether I would have them for a long time or whether they would pass away and leave me," Messrie said.

She continued: "As a teenager, my dad had been through two major surgeries and multiple health issues, and my mom was battling cancer. It became very apparent that I was having a different experience with my parents. It was tough at that time."

While her childhood may have been different to that of her friends, Messrie said she looks back with so much fondness and gratitude. She learned so much from "the hardships of having elderly parents," and it has helped her become who she is now.

Messrie said: "My parents were calm, had a relaxed view of my upbringing; they didn't judge or pressure me, and I think this had a lot to do with their age. I was more prepared for tough times than others my age, and it has helped me a lot in my adult years."

Messrie's mom passed away several years ago, and her dad lived independently for many years thereafter. Unfortunately, as his health declined, he needed a caregiver and now requires 24/7 support. He has type 2 diabetes, signs of dementia, and problems with his blood pressure, but Messrie said she hopes he has many years ahead.

Now, the millennial says that caring for her elderly dad makes her happy and she is proud to be there for him.

Seeing her dad gradually deteriorate while she is still in her thirties can certainly be "emotionally overwhelming"; however, Messrie reminds herself of the many perks that come with older parents. Among the benefits, she said they were mature, calm, and patient with her while she was growing up.

She shared a video on TikTok (@yasmeenmessrie) to show people the reality of living with an older dad, and it went viral with over 7.1 million views and more than 579,000 likes at the time of writing.

The reaction to the clip, which shows Messrie laying beside her dad and holding his hand, has been incredibly positive. Many people found the post relatable and shared their own similar experiences.

"I post about my life quite frequently on social media and I wanted people to know that having elderly parents is a reality for many, and it's a different lifestyle," Messrie told Newsweek.

She continued: "It's been nice to find a sense of unity in something that makes such a difference in our lives but isn't talked about much. Having older parents has a lot of positives and, just because someone has kids at a young age, it doesn't guarantee that they will be with them for a long time. If you are in your forties and fifties and want kids, knowing you will love and care for them while you are here, that is enough."

Since the clip went viral, it has amassed over 4,800 comments on TikTok.

One comment reads: "Totally understand, I'm 26 and my dad is 84 with Alzheimer's."

Another TikTok user wrote: "I get it. My dad was 45 when I was born and having an older dad you definitely experience life in a different way. But in a good way sometimes."

Another post said: "Having a good dad any age is precious."

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